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Top 10 Reasons Wilder's Not Running for Re-election

1. Much like Lt. Gov. Bill Bolling, misses the time and energy he could be devoting to the gratifying work of insurance sales.

2. Thinks he has a real shot at the whole "competitive eating" thing.

3. To step up his courting of Patricia Kluge, who's looking damn fine these days.

4. Needs to carve out mental downtime to recuperate from the psychological fallout of the David vs. David "Idol" showdown.

5. City refused to add a spoiler to the burgundy Mercury Grand Marquis.

6. Afraid that his campaign would crumble against a powerhouse like Bill Pantele.

7. Has completed the mission handed down from Obama.

8. Gave his immunity idol to Dirtwoman in the "dumbest move ever."

9. Sold Richmond to South Korea.

10. Needs to polish his resume for the assistant police chief job in Charlotte.

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