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Top 10 Reasons Lt. Gov. Bill Bolling Isn't Running for Governor


10. Internal polling reveals weakness against Bob McDonnell's glorious head of hair.

9. Wants to devote more time searching for cornflake shaped like Virginia.

8. Vast left-wing conspiracy.

7. His other job in insurance is just too damn fun.

6. Subway has tapped him as its "Jared of the next generation."

5. Three words: Ashley Alexandra Dupre.

4. YouTube videos of his crazy pastor at Shady Grove United Methodist.

3. Joining Vince Vaughn's Wild West Comedy Show Part II.

2. Emergency 3 p.m. phone calls might conflict with his napping schedule.

1. Heard convincing arguments from his staff of three.

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