The Ballad of Sam Moore
To the tune of “House of the Rising Sun”
There was a place in Shockoe Slip
Where ladies danced unclothed,
And it's been the ruin of many a poor boy
But now, at last, it's closed.
Ol' Sam Moore, he owned it
And lived there too, I'm told
In that dingy place, Club Velvet
Where love was bought and sold.
Now the ABC went down there
And saw some strippers' junk,
Their guy drank champagne and bought cocaine
And found some young girls drunk.
Those agents sure were amazed
At all that sex and booze and coke,
They wrote a long report up:
Sam Moore's license was revoked.
In June, the feds put their foot in
Sayin' Sam's taxes were a mess,
The ATMs he may have filled with dollar bills
Seemed to upset the IRS.
Oh, Richmond, cry a tattooed tear
After 10 years, Velvet died.
Now if you wanna see some T&A
You gotta go down to South Side.
It's the typical Mayor Dwight Jones political victory — a twofer, no less. He gets his skating rink on East Broad Street the same day the state agrees to purchase the parking lot and slave burial ground in Shockoe Bottom from Virginia Commonwealth University — in order to transfer ownership to the city — just in time for Christmas. The day before, the city again joneses over the mayor's plan to lure an international bicycle race to Richmond.
Take that, you critics who argue that the mayor's largely skated through his term, absent on the bigger issues confronting the city. Twenty-five percent poverty rate? The mayor is forming an anti-poverty commission real soon. Filling key directorships at City Hall? It's just around the corner. Fixing the city's underperforming public schools … oh, wait, that's bad information. Test scores show everyone is passing!
So what if the mayor has nothing publicly to say about any of the hot-button issues confronting Richmond: the unconstitutional noise ordinance, VCU's use of a slave burial ground as a parking lot (thanks Gov. McDonnell!), the lack of any coherent economic-development strategy.
No worries. Put the politics on ice until next year.