Lonely hearts seem always to be hungry. They cast furtive glances in the cereal aisle, lust after the waitress, stare down the hapless bar-stool sitter who just doesn't realize what a hot vibe he's sending out to the guy in the white sweater.
Do they really believe that Craigslist's “Missed Connections” will seal the deal? Or is it simply more tragic and uncomplicated to post their longings and fantasize about an outcome that likely will never happen from words perhaps never read?
In the spirit of holiday warmth over cocktails for two, we've compiled some of the more poignant messages wafting up from Richmond's bars, restaurants and feeding zones. Maybe you didn't realize that someone was watching you dribble gruyere down your heaving bosom, oblivious to the torment you were causing. Maybe this will inspire you to start scouring the flea market of fateful possibilities every time you step out for a bite, just in case there's some ersatz poetry spooling out of the linguine.
If we hear of any connections from this implausible but utterly romantic, long-shot conduit, believe us, you'll know about it before the New Year's trifle is finished.
You work at Champs Stony Point
Your name is Sarah. I came in with my family for dinner tonight (Sunday) and you waited on us. I talked with you at the table while I was trying to entertain my niece. You are very pretty and I noticed how you knew exactly what ingredients are in the dressing I had (one of your favorites); I am guessing you like to cook? I hesitated to ask you out in front of my family, but my sister told me I should have. If you read these things, I'd love to talk to you more sometime. Or if you are reading this and you work with Sarah, please let her know.) If this is you, you would be able to tell me what we did after dinner tonight.
To the hot Edo's waiter
I didn't eat there last night, but I certainly thought of you.
Sessy (sic) miss at Gibsons
You were my waitress on the night of the storm
I wish in my mixed vegetables there was corn
JB I love you
Cute guy at 3 Monkeys m4m 27
Props to the cute guy at 3 monkeys wearing the blue and black plaid shirt sitting with his friends at the table around 1 p.m. today. It was nice to have some eye flirting. ... Hit me up if you want to know more. ... I was wearing the white sweater in the corner with some friends.
Sticky Rice m4w (snow outside)
You must have paid cash -- I was sending the waitress over to buy you a drink and ask if you'd join us when you and your friend or mom were up and out ever so quickly. You are adorable :).
Kimberly at the ABC store m4w Chesterfield near Kroger
You misunderstood something I said to you and thought I was being a pervert, wish I would have asked for your number. You have a great smile, would love to hang out with you.
To Jessica at Bar Louie every Wednesday
We talked for a little while on Wednesday night at the bar. You said I didn't look like most guys that go to Bar Louie since I had a full sleeve. I told you I see you there every week with your girls but never had the guts to talk to you. I hope you didn't get creeped out by that. You have the most unique look, prettiest smile, and you're always laughing. I really wanted to ask you for your number or to have drinks another night but I wasn't sure if the guy you were with was your boyfriend. If you see this reply with what you told me your occupation is so I know it's you.
Balliceaux — w4w 26
You are the waitress with the short dark hair. You look pissed all the time, but I think you're cute anyway. Why are you so mad baby, I can make it better. …
Girl at Kroger with wicked hot shoes
You in line stocking up on alcohol for the snowstorm. ...thought you were extremely attractive. … and loved those shoes. ...love to have a drink with you sometimes.
Blk dude in mcdonalds m4m 25 Southside Plaza:
You were fine
wearing a red vest jacket and timbz
u kept making eye contact with me
how could I resist yo
Hey Mr. Barista w4m 22 Short Pump
Ask me out next time, will ya? Promise I'll say yes.