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Reviews of "Scary Movie," "Disney's The Kid," "Hamlet," "Love's Labour's Lost" and "Jaws"

Quick Flicks

!B! "Scary Movie"!B! "Disney's The Kid"!B! "Hamlet"!B! "Love's Labour's Lost"!B! "Jaws"

"Scary Movie" — efecation. "American Pie." Breast implants. Gay men. "Halloween 1-20." "Amistad." "Blair Witch Project." Large penises. Oral sex. "Riverdance." Lesbians. "Scream 1-3." "The Sixth Sense." "The Usual Suspects."

The above is just a partial list of what Keenan Ivory Wayans spoofs in "Scary Movie," his parody of teen slasher flicks starring his brothers Shawn and Marlon. When it's funny, "Scary Movie" is very, very funny. But when it's lame and yucky — WHEW! — it's very lame and yucky.

"Disney's The Kid" — Hey Disney, thanks for the clarification in the title. Without it we most likely would have confused this Bruce Willis vehicle for a remake of Charlie Chaplin's classic with the same name. Chaplin. Willis. Hey, they're pretty interchangeable. Wrong!

Feel-good filmmaking at its sweetest, "Disney's The Kid" is all about embracing and reconnecting with our "inner child." It's also surprisingly touching at times, thanks to the fact that "the kid" playing opposite Willis is the perfectly precocious and endearingly chubby Spencer Breslin. The two are pretty darn adorable together, despite the fitfully funny, often illogical script.

"Hamlet" — Much more a neo-noir look at this electronic age we find ourselves in than that silly old classic about the Prince of Denmark, this circa 2000 "Hamlet" remains interesting in concept only. Gen-X poster-boy Ethan Hawke is our modern-day Dane, whose father is the murdered president of the Denmark Corporation. He suspects foul play on the part of new CEO, Claudius (Kyle MacLachlan), and his mother, Gertrude (Diane Venora). Julia Stiles is his clueless Ophelia. While Michael Almereyda's "Hamlet" grooves to the director's own rhyme and reason, it fails to engage us beyond our initial curiosity. Only Liev Schreiber as Laertes ably breaks out of Almereyda's postmodern conceits.

"Love's Labour's Lost" — Shakespeare fares a bit better here, in the hands of writer/director/producer/actor Kenneth Branagh, though he too has opted for a more modern setting for the Bard's comedy. The time is the '30s and Branagh has crafted Shakespeare's lesser-known romance into a Busby Berkeley-inspired musical. While the story remains the same, Branagh cuts the couplets to a minimum, choosing instead to inject the words and music of Cole Porter, Irving Berlin and Ira Gershwin. Even the likes of Timothy Spall and Nathan Lane can't quite keep the movie from seeming an odd hybrid. While Alicia Silverstone, Emily Mortimer (also in "Disney's The Kid") and Alessandro Nivola and Branagh do their best to carry off this lighthearted paean to that crazy thing called love, the result is decidedly mixed.

"Jaws" — (Special DVD Edition) — What a treat for DVD owners. Now available is a collector's edition of Steven Spielberg's contemporary classic. Boasting 75 minutes of "never-before-seen" footage this could be the movie package that sends you out to buy that long-debated DVD player.

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