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Our 16th annual look at what makes Richmond so ... well, Richmond. Our readers serve up some self-deprecating humor, all in the name of fun.

You Are Very Richmond If...

Thanks once again, Richmond, for proving that it is Very Richmond to find humor in just about everything and everyone around us. If there's a laugh to be had over something as embarrassing as a political scandal or something as mundanely irksome as parking, we know we can always count on Style readers to find it. We hope you'll find even more to make you laugh on the pages that follow.

grand prize winner

You believe Gen. Ulysses Grant's reply to Gen. Robert E. Lee at Appomattox was "Is that your final answer?"
- Ernie Mackey

You actually thought Motorola was coming.
— J. Mark Scott

You drive five minutes to walk around Westhampton Lake (at UR) for an hour.

You judge your parallel parking job (in the Fan) by how hard you hit the car in front and/or behind you.
- Andrew Wise

You don't mind that Motorola continues to postpone West Creek, because the delay has become another Richmond tradition.
- Bernard Solari

Your e-mail address is

If you think you are more talented and interesting than you really are.- Lee Carleton

You put a $200,000 addition on a $100,000 house.
- Anne Blackwell

You can direct all visitors and newcomers to the places of interest in the city, but have never been to those places yourself.- Annemarie Beattie

You are a baby boomer and you live in Jackson Ward, your parents lived in JW, your grandparents lived in JW, and knew minister Jackson.
- Rose Hatton

You believe that living in Wyndham is a "lifestyle."
- Jack Fox

The underside of your mother's 1907 French Haviland plate is stamped "Pour E.B. Taylor, Richmond, Va."

- Bettie Weaver

You flunked your zoology course at VCU by answering "On the Avenues" to the question "Where can you find monkeys?"

You've been treated for a gunshot wound at MCV.
- Kathleen Culpepper

You get in the Smart Tag lane and look for the buckets for your fifty cents.
- Mary Holton

You know that Shockoe Slip isn't something you find at Victoria's Secret.
- Steve Hutchinson

You really wouldn't dare tell anyone how you feel about yourself.
- Joyce Bragg

You think a red light means "everybody stop but me."
- Scott Lucchesi

You go to Parker Field to watch the fireworks on the 4th of July.
- Loren Dorsey

You recognize Lou Dean's voice when you enter the Richmond International Airport.
- Fred Murray

You wear a hat, skirt, hose and dress shoes to Strawberry Hill and still don't care what you've stepped in.
- Dana McElwain

The people you refer to as the New Neighbors moved in 20 years ago.
- Mark Johnson

If it costs as much to repair it or replace it ... you repair.

You know where Mechanicsville is but don't care.
- Marshall Johnson

You know the further west you go the less "West End" you are.
- Mary Ellen Helme

You're anxiously awaiting the next book written by

Gene Cox.
- Bob Lynn

You have a Smart Tag and still wait in line at the toll booth.
- Jim Mathias

You live in the Fan and you can tell a South Sider by the way they parallel park.
- Fox Walter

You remember skating on P Street in Church Hill during Christmas.
- Catherine Taylor

After 25 years you have still not visited Brandermill.
- Janie Evans

When you are introduced to someone they say "And who was your mother?"
- Joy Hardy

You drove all the way to Nags Head just to get an OBX sticker for your car.
- Stuart Tyson

Your new best friend is someone who just vacated a parking spot at Ukrop's.

You belong to Deep Run Hunt Club, Fishing Bay Yacht Club, The Commonwealth Club, Country Club of Virginia and a 12-step group.
- Ruth Cotlin

You use the phrase "Grove and Libbie" as an adjective.
- John Haddad

You want to go to a concert but have to go to Virginia Beach or Northern Virginia to see it.
- Derek LaPrade

You drive 95 north or south and don't notice a strange smell around Maury Street.
- Sharon Jackson

Your New Year's resolution for 2000 is not to change a thing.

You give cobblestones as baby gifts.

You feel there will be a special place in hell for people who paint brick.

You drive past the Virginia Historical Society every day but have never been inside.

You believe a pair of khaki pants should be placed in the city's New Millennium time capsule.

You think Kwanzaa was invented by Arthur Ashe.
- Linda Veldheer

You think the gestation period for a good idea is 10 years.
- Fred McCall

You have to eat six or seven Krispy Kreme doughnuts before you even begin to feel guilty.
- Victor Gottlieb

You have white columns on your ranch-type house.
- Frank Solari

You think "Let's get started" is a banking term that means "We just ate your bank for breakfast."

You know that it is easier to get a bus from Richmond to Charlottesville than it is to get a bus from Richmond to Chesterfield.
- Victor Gottlieb

You wonder where Short Pump went.
- Betty Wolf

You think Philip Morris is the mayor.
- Virginia Ackors

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