The Richmond Flying Squirrels christened a new mascot — a sidekick to Nutzy the Squirrel — as Zinger the Acorn last week.
Noting Nutzy's popularity, the team's director of media and event coordinator, Anthony Oppermann, said in a news release, “we thought it fitting that he have a jovial friend that could help spread the funn around” (the team spells fun with two N's as a policy). “We continue to be all about building the characters for fans,” Oppermann said.
But what happens when a little funn goes too farr? Are the Flying Squirrels spreading their membrane wings a little too wide? And will Nutzy share the spotlight? Style Weekly has uncovered a supersecret internal memo hinting at more sidekicks to come. Like acorns, the new mascots are based on the diets of flying squirrels.
Sticky the Slug
A hermaphrodite, she'll flirt like there's no tomorrow, but don't get too close — she'll rip your heart out. Not to mention leaving a slimy trail behind. Keep her away from the beer: Slugs drown in the stuff. And we shouldn't have to tell you that salty snacks make her shrivel up faster than Todd “Parney” Parnell after a long night on the town.
Doug the Fungi
He's everyone's favorite and pleasantly annoying uncle. You'll find Doug throwing craps in the dugout during the seventh-inning stretch. After the game he's especially fond of lounging around the locker room on the mildewy shower floors. Shrooms and whiskey are a dangerously funn combination.
Drippy the Tree Sap
Once he arrives at the game, it's nearly over. But when he does, watch out! His sweet zing lingers on Nutzy's whiskers, and gives you the kind of blood-sugar high that'll have you jonesing for extra innings. Keep him outdoors: He's usually surrounded by a cloud of flies.