Brandon McPherson, aspiring comedian, caricature artist and bartender at 525 at the Berry Burk.
1. Bring a friend. Support is crucial so that if you say something off-color you aren't all alone in your crazy head.
2. Be social. Talk to strangers. The best part about going to a bar is mingling with new people and connecting.
3. Start with an accessible topic, throw some feelers out there, and if the vibe is good, bring up that time you showed your birthmark to the mayor's secretary and almost got Tasered.
4. Have a few funnies on standby, but be quick about it. A 20-minute joke where the punch line is, "I thought that was your finger" is a bust. "What do you call a mean potato? A dictator!" Slightly better.
5. Don't be afraid of rejection. If you're polished and generally polite, you can do whatever you want. Get the hot girl or guy at the bar, score some free appetizers or be escorted out of the club in handcuffs. Either way, you can't buy memories!