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"Head Over Heels," "Valentine," "Left Behind," "The Wedding Planner"

Quick Flicks

!B! "Head Over Heels"!B! "Valentine"!B! "Left Behind" !B! "The Wedding Planner"

"Head Over Heels" — This PG-13 bubbleheaded romance mixes two classics — "Cinderella" and Hitchcock's "Rear Window" with less than charming results. Although its target audience — teen-age girls and preteen sophisticates — will be swept off their collective feet by the Crown Prinze of these teen romances, Freddie Prinze Jr. This time out, he's a fashion exec who sweeps Plain Jane neighbor (Monica Potter) off her feet. She's smitten until she thinks she sees him kill another woman. The next thing you know, she's out to solve a murder that may or may not have happened, while getting herself and her three supermodel roommates in hot water. She keeps dating him so he can't get away if he is guilty. A tad too lewd for the under-10 set, "Head Over Heels" is modestly amusing until the pathetic plotting goes into overdrive. "Valentine" — Even Denise Richards fans will have a hard time recommending this middling attempt to revive the holiday-oriented slasher genre. It's your basic "Prom Night" rip-off about the social outcast who seeks revenge for a prank some 13 years later. The best part of the movie is the first Valentine's Day card our arrested-development slasher sends to the pranksters — all of whom have grown into busty blondes with perfect teeth: "Roses are red/Violets are blue/They'll need dental records/To identify you." Soon these buff twentysomethings in the movie's suspiciously flat (and Canadian-looking) San Francisco are being sent to their maker by a ghoul wearing a cherub's mask. Yeah, yeah, whatever. There's simply no edge to this slasher flick. "Left Behind" — This movie about what happens after the "Rapture" strikes makes no bones about its heritage: It's produced by Christian filmmakers for a Christian audience. But no matter a movie's good intentions or its narrowly defined target audience, the first commandment of moviemaking is Thou Shalt Entertain. Kirk Cameron plays an investigative reporter who's left behind when friends and family mysteriously disappear one night. As he tries to discover what might have happened, the world is thrust into political chaos, which paves the way, of course, for the rise of the Antichrist. Based on a best-selling series of Christian novels, as well as the best-selling book of all times, the Bible, it's disheartening that this tedious mess is the best these folks could come up with. "Left Behind" is a card catalog of bad choices, none of which have anything to do with the movie's religious underpinnings. "The Wedding Planner" — Only those in love with love will find this uninspired tug at the heartstrings remotely romantic. Jennifer Lopez plays an Italian bachelorette whose own love life is AWOL. Making matters worse, she spends her days planning other people's perfect weddings. Then one day fate steps in, sending handsome pediatrician Matthew McConaughey to save her. But wait! Despite spending a romantic evening with him, she soon finds out he's engaged to marry one of her clients. Although Lopez exhibits a great deal of charm and focused energy in the first 15 or so minutes of the film, once the star-crossed romance kicks in, this movie tanks. She and McConaughey have zero chemistry together, undermining whatever sweetness the two can bring to this dismal drivel.

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