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Cheap Date: The Truth

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Sure, you might argue that starting a relationship that is predicated on lies is foolish, but I would ask you in return how much of any relationship is lies anyway? Probably — and I'm just ballparking here — anywhere from 65 percent to 95 percent is pure, unadulterated fabrication, so have fun with it. So here's a date that will be cheap and I'll even thrown in a whopper for you to tell just to get you started.

The Lie: You were once kidnapped by a bunch of Japanese pirates. Not the pirates of Penzance but close. They were meaner and more vicious than musically inclined, but you struck up a Patty Hearst kind of thing with them and soon became their leader. Now, whenever you eat sushi you remember those days of yore. You know, the wonder years before you had your school loans to pay back and that jackass boss and all the headaches that come from modern life. Now, whenever you eat sushi it brings you back to those mystical days of azure skies.

The Date: Sticky Rice on Main and Davis. Monday nights are half-price sushi nights to take it easy on your wallet while you tell your date all about those lovable pirates. Sticky Rice's sushi is top-notch, and the tater tots are always fun to eat as long as you remember not to "bob" from them as they sit in the bucket. I did that once and my date was entirely underwhelmed. Actually I didn't, but I had you going there for a minute didn't I? — Francis Decker

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