Best Alternative Uses of Sex Toys

Critics' Pick

Taboo owner Alison Barber - SCOTT ELMQUIST

Here’s a question to all men out there who drive alone: Are you frequently accosted by prostitutes while driving in city neighborhoods?

Try buckling a blowup doll into the passenger’s seat. One customer professes the strategy keeps street-corner hookers at bay. Or at least that’s what he told the clerks at Taboo when he came in about once a month to buy a new friend. (Bonus: The doll allowed him to use interstate car-pool lanes.)

“It was just easier to not have to deal with the prostitutes if they thought there was a woman in the car with him,” says Alison Barber, owner of Taboo. Then again, “I think he just wanted a blowup doll.”

Barber says there are many nonsexual uses for sex toys. An 18-inch dildo is a great weapon. A self-pleasuring device for males can double as a pencil holder. Edible undies can liven up a lunch routine. Lube can get you out of all sorts of household jams.

And if that’s a little too creative, Barber says, “I guess you could use vibrators marketed as neck massagers to actually massage your neck.”

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