The Score


-5Timing is everything. Don't just insinuate that porn may have been found on your political adversary's City Hall computer. Issue a surprise press release on his 16th wedding anniversary. There's nothing like a romantic dinner with the wife to explain how someone else must have snuck over to your desk to do some dirty downloading.

-4All politics is local. Hit City Council members where they'll feel it most -- their administrative assistants. Have these reapply for their jobs or be fired. If they miss a few constituent calls while they're working on their resumes, so be it. And wouldn't it do council members some good to open their own mail for once?

-6Put the children first. Save taxpayer money by spending it on movers and using police to throw Richmond Public Schools out of City Hall. Yes, you may lose money moving them back in after a judge orders you to, but you tried. And don't worry about those confidential records sitting outside for hours. It's all good.

-3Have an exit strategy, and relax. Be cool. Remember, this is not your fault. Talk about how much warning you gave and how much backup documentation you have (don't worry whether you'll ever have to show it). And if all else fails, raise doubt that you did any of this at all. Memories are fleeting.

+3Dress to impress. It's your time to shine. So if you're going to create chaos, look good in the ensuing media coverage. Throw a glamorous red scarf over your lapels for an evening out. At a lunch for Virginia Press Women, wear your brand of cowboy boots and sport a striking green suit. Yeah, that's right. All eyes are on you, Daddy-o.

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