Shotguns and Shot Glasses
In an effort to temper the never-ending derangement that is Virginia's relationship with alcohol and guns, State Sen. A. Donald McEachin, D-Henrico, put forth Senate Bill 1395, which would make drinking while carrying a firearm illegal.
Yes, that's correct: Right now you can drink and carry a gun with no repercussions in Virginia. Seriously?! I feel like I'm taking crazy pills.
That this isn't already against the law is baffling and shows how red and deeply Southern this state still is. Regardless, McEachin's bill seeks to at least counter the law that went into place a year ago, which allows for concealed weapons in bars as long as the holder has a permit and remains sober.
Unfortunately it's widely suspected that McEachin's legislation, although it passed 12-1 in the Senate Courts of Justice Committee and 40-0 in the full Senate, ultimately will die in a House of Delegates subcommittee before it reaches the full body. But McEachin isn't giving up. “I don't subscribe to the notion that this bill won't pass through the House of Delegates or else I wouldn't have introduced it,” he says. “We already got 40 votes in the Senate, and with both parties working together I'm hopeful we can get the necessary votes in the House.”
If it fails, it'll be thanks to a bunch of old Republican bags on the subcommittee and heavy pressure on them from the (possibly drunk?) good ol' boys to “uphold the Second Amendment!”
As for allowing concealed weapons in bars, McEachin says he's not sure what the process would have been to repeal the law, but is focused on this new bill: “I think it will go through.”
What else is there to say? We've already had one concealed weapons permit-holder in Lynchburg shoot himself in the leg while drinking in a bar. Next time a person will die, though I doubt it will change the stances of lawmakers or gun nuts. When it comes to firearms, rational thought is merely an afterthought for these people.
Fire Water: The proliferation of flavored spirits may have finally hit its zenith (or its nadir) recently with the introduction of Fireball Cinnamon Whiskey to the market.
Remember Atomic Fireballs, the hot cinnamon jawbreakers next to every gas station cash register? And of course you know whiskey, the finely crafted staple of kings and cowboys. Well mix the two and voila! — adult candy for the Peter Pan set.
I'm not completely against putting flavoring agents in a spirit that's inherently flavorless to begin with (vodka), but tampering with a product that's been barrel aged is blasphemy. It's the type of act that would have Jack Daniels and Booker Noe rising from the dead with shotguns to go find them sumbitches that done messed with the holy water they spent decades perfecting.
Hey, maybe we'll have a job for those drunk gun nuts after all!
Either way, the only disagreeable aspect of this job is that I have to occasionally inform you of new, egregiously bad products. So go try Fireball Whiskey because everyone else seems to love this swill and because you're a sheep. After that, go punch John Jameson in the face. Fireball Cinnamon Whiskey Bourbon, 750 milliliters, $19.99.
Richmond bartender Jack Lauterback contributes to Mixology magazine in Germany, tweets @jackgoesforth and blogs at jackgoesforth.blogspot.com. E-mail: email@example.com.