News & Features » News and Features

Dear Doug

Richmonders seek the mayor's help on life, the universe and other stuff.

by

comment
Linwood Norman, the city spokesman who handles "Ask the Mayor," can only scratch his head. "They think the mayor is — omnipotent," he says. Perhaps.

Here's a sampling, unedited:



Will the Richmond Coliseum get a major make over on the outside? I think It need a new color maybe a silver like City Hall to make it more inviting.



I want to give you a brief idea about establishing a professional basketball team called Virginia Rivers (Jamestown rivers) affiliated with NBA. I thought of two locations in Richmond and Hampton (Virginia Beach)… . Please let me know as soon as possible so I can get our dream in to action. I believe this will help the community in Virginia for job placements, increase morals, reduce crime rates and increase the spirit of Virginia. I am looking forward to talk with you or your representative about my business plan.



Mr. Mayor,

Why is soup $2.95 and a cup of chili $3.95 at Padow's Restaurant located in City Hall? The prices are exhorbitant for everything!, when compared to a cup of chili at WENDYS, 0.99 cents or a bowl of soup from UKROPS, $1.99? I ask this because their rental fee is so little. Is this a wise choice for taxpayers money? Thank you for your consideration.



I hope this has not been an imposition to relay my respect through the questions hotline. I just wanted to pass the sentiments I have held for so long to you and thank you for your years of incredulous public service.



Do you believe that a man should be required to pay a woman from whom he is divorced, alimony, until she is Re-married or Dies? (yes, I said RE-MARRIES or Dies) I DON'T!!! My son has been paying his X-wife $1,000. a month for the past 4-5 years and at the rate she is going and the men she has been with and the caliber of people with whom she associates or has associated, that eventful date will never come.



Will iam doing a project on the state of virginia in i would like to know would you give me some information about the state of virginia like for example thestate bird.



I would like to create a store in Richmond and I need to know what is the hottest, most important thing about Richmond that I could incorporate into my store.



Dear Mr. Mayor,

I'm offering my services as a consultant to the city of Richmond. I can help the city prosper: as (1) the laws of thermodynamics dictate the end of our dependable energy slaves as a direct result of fossil fuel depletion; and, (2) clear the myrid of distortions that mask reality.



I have a suggestion for where to loate the ball park. The Port of Richmond should be a good location for the ball park, and it would probably be more cost effective for the City than using it as a port.



Your recent argumentative behavior is both unbecoming a public official and, as the Vice Mayor says, "unnecessary." Since you seem to enjoy the battles and have significant control issues, along with an unwillingness to lead in concert with others, would you consider counseling so the city can move forward without your ego having to be fed each step of the way?



I really like Savannah, GA's waterfront area. It had the tug boats and shops. We need something like that. We are right off the highway and we need to be a major stop for tourists. We need some broadway shows. We need more! And to improve what we have. But I am so proud and happy that you are our Mayor! You are the best that there is! Thank you for caring so much about Richmond!



Dear Mayor,

... I was outside with my dog when the pound came to get my dog, Tanner. He was a golden retriever, part chow… . Now, I understand that it had to be done for the safety of children and adults in the neighborhood, but I believe the way [the animal control officer] took him was unorthidox and rude… . He took my dog without a kind word. I yelled and I cried and I screamed. I was only 10 years old and having the only creature that I loved so much and that I could go to when I was upset was the worst thing that could ever happened to me and will probably stay that way. He choked my dog and threw him in the back of the truck in a kenel that was too small. Now, Tanner was a harmless dog who wouldn't and didn't harm anybody. I know I can't get him back now, but I would like to know two things, 1. would you please go to the pound and see if there is a golden retriever that goes by the name of Tanner and has black spots on his tounge.

The more important thing is I would appreciate if you did is, if you could please, please, make a law that unless a dog is murderous it cannot be taken away from people if the dog has a nice home with children and is fed and if the children are yelling, crying, or sitting in the middle of the road, don't you think it would be best if the dog could stay with the children so the children would not have to move to a small island in North Carolina and replace the only creature that they could go to when they were sad with a slobery St. Bernard that always looks sad and makes you want to cry all the time.

Now Mr. Wilder, I am a 12 year old child so you probably won't take me seriously but even though I an only 12 I speak for any and every child and/or adult who has ever had their dog taken away from them… . Thank you Mayor Wilder for reading my letter. Oh, and if you don't make this a law, I have indescribable connections in Virginia that could and probably would make you lose your office as mayor. Thanks again for reading my letter. (Think of Tanner. Think of your future as mayor. You can change the fact that you will be hated or you can make everybody hate you even more. Bye. Have a nice day! S



Letters to the editor may be sent to: letters@styleweekly.com


Add a comment